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“Today we are starved for rest, to know God beyond what we can do for Him.  We are starved for quiet, to hear the sound of sheer silence that is the presence of God Himself.” (Invitation to Solitude and Silence, by Ruth Haley Barton, p. 21)

 

This is freedom to praise – to know God just by the presence of our being. 

 

One of the biggest difficulties I face on a daily basis is that I was brought up to believe in “production.”  If you are not “producing” you are not worthy.  While I was employed I served . . . God, my family, my fellow man . . . I was productive and thus I was worthy of taking up space here on this earth.  Now I struggle daily with being worthy and many times feel extremely unworthy.

 

However, I am hearing that God wants me just for me.  Yes, as it says in James “faith without works is dead.”  When God calls me to do something according to His will, I am to participate, to “produce.”  However, sometimes God is calling me to be . . . to be His . . . to hear Him.

 

One may think that because I am retired I have plenty of silence.  This is so incredibly false.  My mind tells me all kinds of things continuously . . . I am not working I am not worth anything since I don’t receive a paycheck.  I am not of any use to God, at the present time He does not have me teaching or “doing” anything “worthy” . . . just studying His Word and being a support to others.  The noise in my head is overwhelming.

 

I have begun reading Invitation to Solitude and Silence, not as an escape from the world but as a possibility of being of more to God and through Him. 

 

11 And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord. And, behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake: 12 And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice. 13 And it was so, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle, and went out, and stood in the entering in of the cave. And, behold, there came a voice unto him, and said, What doest thou here, Elijah? (1 Kings 19:11-13 King James Version)

 

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